{"id":1989,"date":"2026-07-17T22:57:26","date_gmt":"2026-07-17T21:57:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mediaconversation.com\/?p=1989"},"modified":"2026-07-18T08:01:02","modified_gmt":"2026-07-18T07:01:02","slug":"the-fear-we-borrow-how-other-peoples-words-shape-our-reality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mediaconversation.com\/?p=1989","title":{"rendered":"The Fear We Borrow: How Other People’s Words Shape Our Reality"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Precious Bamidele<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I had just resumed classes after being away for a little over a week. As expected, lectures had continued in my absence, and my classmates had accumulated pages of notes. By the time I attended my first class that morning, I felt overwhelmed by everything I believed I had missed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps I should say it differently. There wasn’t actually an impossible amount of work waiting for me. What overwhelmed me was not the workload itself but the story I had already begun telling myself. Before I had even opened a notebook, I had convinced myself that the semester was a mountain too steep to climb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After class, I admitted to one of my coursemates that I had no idea where to begin with one particular course. In my mind, it had already become a Herculean task. I expected sympathy\u2014perhaps even confirmation that the course was notoriously difficult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead, she smiled and simply said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“You can do it now. It’s not that bulky.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At first, I almost dismissed the comment. How could she possibly think it wasn’t bulky? Had we looked at the same course outline?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yet those few words stayed with me for the rest of the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That evening, I opened the course material again, but this time with a different mindset. Instead of repeating the story of how impossible it seemed, I approached it with the quiet confidence borrowed from my friend’s words: “It’s not that bulky. I can do it.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hours later, I had completed the material. Twice. I remember pausing for a moment, almost amused by the irony. Wasn’t this the same course that had nearly brought me to tears that morning?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The material had not changed. The number of pages had not reduced. The lectures had not become easier. The only thing that had changed was the lens through which I viewed the task.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That experience forced me to think beyond my own study table. University campuses are curious places. Alongside knowledge, they often circulate fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Long before students enter an examination hall, they have already heard countless predictions of failure. Certain courses acquire terrifying reputations before students even open the first page of the recommended textbook. Conversations in lecture halls, cafeterias, hostels, and group chats are often filled with statements like: “Nobody passes that course.” “Even final-year students couldn’t understand it.” “Just pray to pass.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These comments are usually made casually\u2014sometimes even jokingly. Yet words have a remarkable way of becoming expectations, and expectations often shape performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Imagine if my friend’s response had been different that morning. Supposing she had said, “That course is terrible. Even senior colleagues warned us about it. Don’t expect to do well.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would I have studied that evening? Perhaps not. Perhaps my fear would have become larger than the task itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps I would have postponed reading\u2014not because the course was impossible, but because someone else’s fear had quietly become my own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That possibility reveals something important. Fear is often borrowed before it is experienced. Many of the anxieties we carry are not born from reality but inherited from the words, assumptions, and expectations of those around us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is why our words deserve more care than we often give them. Encouragement does not require dishonesty. It is not about pretending that challenges do not exist or suggesting that success comes without discipline, consistency, and hard work. Learning demands genuine effort, and no amount of positive thinking can replace preparation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But there is an important difference between preparing someone for a challenge and persuading them that defeat is inevitable before they have even begun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every day, we unknowingly shape the realities of the people around us. A careless remark can deepen someone’s anxiety. A hopeful word can awaken courage they never knew they possessed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes the greatest contribution we make to another person’s journey is not solving their problem but refusing to magnify their fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My experience reminded me that fear is contagious. But so is hope. It also confronted me with a deeply personal question:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What kind of atmosphere do my own words create? Am I the person who confirms people’s fears? Or am I the one who strengthens their courage? The words of the prophet Isaiah come to mind:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Do not call conspiracy all that this people call conspiracy; neither fear what they fear, nor be in dread.” \u2014 Isaiah 8:12<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The instruction is striking because it recognizes how easily fear spreads from one person to another. People can teach us to dread situations we have never encountered. They can persuade us that obstacles are larger than they truly are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But we are not powerless in that process. We can also speak courage into uncertainty. We can replace panic with perspective. We can remind someone that what seems impossible today may simply require one faithful step at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As for me, I hope never to become someone who confirms another person’s fears. I hope instead to be remembered as someone whose words gave another person enough courage to begin. Because sometimes, that is all anyone really needs. A single sentence. A different perspective. A borrowed hope. “You can do it. It’s not that bulky.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Precious Bamidele I had just resumed classes after being away for a little over a week. As expected, lectures had continued in my absence, and my classmates had accumulated pages of notes. By the time I attended my first class that morning, I felt overwhelmed by everything I believed I had missed. Perhaps I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1990,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"iawp_total_views":3,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[88,89,56],"class_list":["post-1989","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-viewspoint","tag-feature-article","tag-opinion-piece","tag-view-point"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mediaconversation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1989","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mediaconversation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mediaconversation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mediaconversation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mediaconversation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1989"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mediaconversation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1989\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2052,"href":"https:\/\/mediaconversation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1989\/revisions\/2052"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mediaconversation.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1990"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mediaconversation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1989"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mediaconversation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1989"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mediaconversation.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1989"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}