Why Men Suffer More In Silence

Published

3 weeks ago

July 4, 2026

By Ese Ikefe

When a woman cries in public, she elicits pity and is usually consoled. She asks questions and is given help. Friends come to her, and loved ones call her on the phone several times. There is a common understanding that women may be open about their feelings. But, when a man collapses, there are different responses. People become uncomfortable. Some say he’s a wimp, others tell him to “man up” or “handle it like a man.” That is what makes many men put up with their suffering silently.

The truth that we tend not to hear is that we are the ones who have heavy emotional, financial
and societal burden with little emotional support. Despite this, society still expects us to be
strong when put to the test. Everyone was taught not to show the signs of pain, from a young
age. The only message was: No crying and no complaining. Men were taught to cover-up
their feelings and emotions, but the female gender were taught to speak up. With the passage
of time, silence became a part of men.

You may feel like you are in a financial bind, emotionally drained, and even mentally drained, but come time to bed at night and you pretend everything is okay because no one wants to hear about your problems. I have watched many men take their problems inside their own heads, rather than bring them out. Women tend to be more open about talking and more emotional in expressing reassurance; many men are not that kind of talkers.

Even in male friendships, the topics of conversation are usually about football, work, money or jokes – not emotional problems. I have been in rooms where nobody said they were mentally fatigued. This is the one thing that most men fail to face but are troubled inside, and show it on the surface.

A marriage counsellor, Ojonimi Ojotule, who spoke with The Guardian Nigeria, said this is the reality.

“Men don’t talk about their feelings, they don’t show emotion, one of the reasons why they have a higher rate of suicidal tendencies.”

It’s what many men encounter, but may not put into words. Men are taught to carry burdens in society, but not how to let them down emotionally. However, there are never-ending burdens. Men are expected to be able to contribute monetarily even in difficult times; be emotionally stable in the face of personal difficulties; and solve problems without displaying fear, sadness, or fatigue. While a man can be out of a job, too much to pay and suffering from depression, still he feels the need to be strong because others need him.

The phrase “women are weaker vessels” comes into play here. In practice, it has enabled women to be vulnerable and not lesser. It’s okay for a lady to admit she’s fed up or exhausted and still get sympathy and support. It’s the opposite for men. Being the “strong vessel” means being visibly in pain. This can raise doubts about a man’s manliness or trustworthiness. Strangely, strength becomes a burden. A lot of men end up carrying it all by themselves, but they still appear polite.

I think that’s what society does best, without keeping in mind the pains of men, and that’s my own personal opinion. If a guy makes poor financial decisions, people will quickly discover it, but if he is emotionally drained, they will not. The hallmark of a man is endurance, but they’re seldom asked what it costs their minds. We often identify our worth with success, and when we don’t succeed, we think we are a failure, despite doing our best.

Ojotule also said: “Most men never saw their fathers cry, so they will learn to believe that strength is silence.”

It’s a sad reality. A lot of men don’t ask for help. They have been inculcated with the lesson that they have to survive alone. Opening only when the pressure is too great, and when the time is right, the damage is far too great. This silence leads to increased depression, substance abuse and suicides in men.

There are some men who seem to be cold and emotionless because they have been suppressing their emotions for years. Relationships aren’t spared either with many women saying that men are not emotionally available, unaware that they did not learn to express feelings.

The irony is that many men are in need of emotional support but they aren’t asking for it because they are afraid of being judged. It’s okay, society says, for men to share their feelings, but it’s still funny to be vulnerable. It’s easy to get laughed at for openly crying, particularly on social media.

Pretense goes on and on with so many men. They laugh in public, but suffer in private. They shoulder their burden in silence, thinking that nobody cares about their suffering. The reality is, though, that before men are providers or protectors, they are human beings.

We get stressed out and frightened and tired as well. We have been taught to conceal our feelings and many of us have it all by themselves. This doesn’t negate women’s struggle… but it does show that sometimes men are missing out on safe emotional space.

The society should not mistake silent strength for weakness. The male gender needs to be educated that showing feelings doesn’t take away any of their masculinity. Being vulnerable isn’t a weakness. It’s something that should be treated with respect.

Outside, a man must seem very strong, but no one can take everything by himself.

Ese Ikefe is a 200-level student of Journalism and Media Studies at Delta State University, Abraka, can be reached via dominionikefe@gmail.com.

Up Next

Between Hope and Heartbreak

Don't Miss

Is A Good Name Better Than Riches? Reality Says Otherwise

Click to comment

Muslims Observe Eid al-Adha with Prayers, Charity, and Calls for Peace

Published

3 hours ago

July 22, 2026

Austin Olayinka

By Eddy Success

Thousands of Muslims across Nigeria gathered in mosques and designated prayer grounds to celebrate Eid al-Adha, one of the most significant festivals in Islam.

This reporter visited Erie Central Mosque, located along Akpakpava Road in Benin City, where worshippers joined other Muslims across the country in observing the festival. The celebration, marked by special congregational prayers, charitable acts, and the symbolic sacrifice of animals, commemorates Prophet Ibrahim’s (Abraham’s) willingness to obey Allah by sacrificing his son before Allah provided a ram in his place.

The day’s activities began early in the morning with Eid prayers led by Islamic scholars and Imams. During the sermons, worshippers were reminded of the importance of faith, obedience to Allah, humility, patience, and compassion for others. Religious leaders also encouraged Muslims to uphold honesty, justice, and peaceful coexistence in their daily lives.

Speaking after the prayers, the Chief Imam of the Benin Central Mosque emphasised that Eid al-Adha is not only a celebration but also an opportunity for self-reflection and service to humanity. He urged Muslims to extend kindness to the less privileged and to promote unity among people regardless of their religious or ethnic backgrounds.

Following the prayers, many families performed the ritual sacrifice of rams, goats, or cows in accordance with Islamic teachings. The meat was shared among family members, neighbours, and people in need, reflecting the Islamic values of generosity and social responsibility.

Several charitable organisations and Islamic groups also organised food distribution programmes, free medical outreaches, and support for orphanages and vulnerable households. Volunteers visited hospitals and correctional facilities, offering gifts, prayers, and words of encouragement to patients and inmates.

Many worshippers expressed gratitude for the opportunity to celebrate the festival peacefully. Amina Yusuf, a Muslim resident of Benin City, described the occasion as a time of gratitude, sacrifice, and togetherness.

Another participant, Ibrahim Bello, said the festival serves as a reminder that true devotion to Allah is demonstrated through obedience, sacrifice, and care for others.

Security agencies maintained a visible presence at major prayer grounds to ensure the safety of worshippers, while traffic officials managed the movement of people and vehicles throughout the celebration.

As the festivities concluded, Islamic leaders called on citizens to continue promoting peace, tolerance, and national unity. They encouraged Muslims to uphold the teachings of Islam by showing love, respect, and generosity within their communities throughout the year.

The successful observance of Eid al-Adha once again highlighted the role of the Islamic faith in fostering spiritual growth, charitable giving, community service, and harmonious coexistence among Nigerians.

How Government Policies Continue To Shape Everyday Business In Nigeria

Published

4 hours ago

July 22, 2026

Austin Olayinka

By Weyinmi Oghoejafor

For millions of Nigerians, the economy is experienced long before it is discussed in newspapers or on television. Every visit to the market, every bus ride, every electricity bill, and every purchase reflects the current state of the country’s economy. Business owners, workers, students, and families all feel the effects of government policies that influence prices, employment opportunities, and the overall cost of living.

Across major cities and rural communities, traders say operating a business has become increasingly challenging. Rising fuel prices have increased the cost of transporting goods from farms and factories to markets. Shop owners who depend on generators because of unreliable electricity spend more on diesel and petrol, forcing many to raise the prices of their goods in order to remain in business.

Market surveys indicate that consumers are becoming more cautious with their spending as inflation continues to reduce purchasing power. Many families now prioritise essential needs such as food, transportation, medicine, and education while cutting back on non-essential purchases. This shift in consumer behaviour has affected sales for many small businesses.

Small and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs) remain the backbone of Nigeria’s economy. From neighbourhood POS operators and food vendors to fashion designers, mechanics, tailors, barbers, and online retailers, these businesses provide employment and income for millions of people. However, many entrepreneurs say that access to affordable loans, stable electricity, and good roads would enable them to expand their operations and employ more workers.

Economists explain that government policies on taxation, public spending, exchange rates, and monetary policy play a significant role in determining the business environment. Investments in roads, railways, ports, agriculture, education, and digital infrastructure can lower business costs, improve productivity, and attract both local and foreign investors. Consistent policies also give businesses the confidence to plan for long-term growth.

Despite the current economic challenges, young Nigerians continue to demonstrate resilience and innovation. Many have embraced digital entrepreneurship by selling products through platforms such as WhatsApp, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook. Others have established businesses in agriculture, poultry farming, fish farming, graphic design, software development, photography, content creation, logistics, and phone repairs. These ventures not only generate income but also contribute to national economic development.

Financial analysts believe that reducing inflation, improving electricity supply, strengthening security, and supporting small businesses through affordable financing would significantly improve the country’s business environment. They also recommend greater transparency, policy consistency, and increased investment in education and skills development to prepare young people for a changing economy.

As Nigeria continues to pursue economic reforms, citizens remain hopeful that practical policies and responsible governance will create a stronger and more resilient economy. Business owners say that when operating costs are reduced, businesses can expand, employ more people, and offer products at more affordable prices. Many agree that sustainable economic growth depends on collaboration among the government, the private sector, and citizens working together toward the common goal of national development.

Abraka Metro

DELSU Photo Festival Season 2 Celebrates Creativity Despite Heavy Rainfall

Published

4 hours ago

July 22, 2026

Austin Olayinka

By Blessing Alumona and Miracle Akpoyovwvayire

The second edition of the DELSU Photo Festival was held on July 17, 2026, in front of the university Sports Complex. Although the programme was originally scheduled to begin at 10:00 a.m., persistent rainfall delayed the event until about 2:00 p.m. A large canopy was provided to shield participants from the rain, while lively music entertained students as they arrived at the venue.

The event opened on a cheerful note with comedy and light-hearted remarks by Professor Odion Odiboh, creating an exciting atmosphere despite the weather. This was followed by the official opening address delivered by Comrade Regina Egbiamiye, President of the Department of Journalism. After her remarks, the pageantry segment commenced, with contestants representing the Departments of Mass Communication, Journalism, and Broadcasting showcasing their confidence and creativity. At the same time, judges assessed students’ photography projects while music kept the audience entertained.

One of the highlights of the festival was an interactive question-and-answer session that actively involved students and kept the audience engaged. Student union representatives, departmental executives, lecturers, and students participated throughout the programme, contributing to its lively and memorable atmosphere.

Speaking after the event, Faith Ogbotor, a 200-level Journalism student, described the festival as enjoyable and memorable. She said that although the heavy rainfall affected the programme, it did not prevent participants from having a rewarding experience.

Another participant, Tejiri Mathias, a Mass Communication student, also commended the event but expressed concerns about what he described as partiality during some of the games. He suggested that improvements could be made in future editions to ensure fairness.

The festival concluded with the announcement of winners from the three departments. Four students emerged as winners from the Department of Broadcasting, twelve from the Department of Journalism, and twenty-two from the Department of Mass Communication. Each department also selected three overall outstanding winners through a voting process, and the successful participants received awards in recognition of their performances.

The celebration ended with music, dancing, and the distribution of refreshments to students, lecturers, and student executives. The joyful atmosphere and shared moments of celebration brought the 2026 DELSU Photo Festival Season 2 to a successful and memorable conclusion for everyone in attendance.